But that's not important. What is important is the Romanian Top 100, and that is what the following few paragraphs will attempt to dissect, if not particularly at length, then at least in an affected whimsical manner. 'Here', as they say, 'we go'.
There's a new entry at Number 83 for Alexandra Stan and Carlprit and it is called 'One Million'. What would be good would be if Carlprit married former German tennis star Michael Stich, opening up the possibility of him changing his name to Carlprit Stich. Anyway, the song itself starts off as a carbon copy of Sean Da Paul and Alexis Jordan's 'Got 2 Luv U' before morphing into a sort of Nadia Oh-esque masterpiece, especially in the chorus, which is as follows: "Milli-million, milli-million, milli-milli-milli-milli-milli-million (repeat to infinity)". Amazing.
Rihanna climbs to 66 with 'We Found Love' in the week that its ever so slightly publicised video was released. It's one of the best of the year, much like the song itself which - and this is just a hunch - is probably going to be enormous right through Christmas and the New Year. Again, just a hunch, but 'you heard it here first'.
There's a song with the refrain "Get a life, get a life, get a life; why don't you take my life, take my life, take my life" - incredible - that smoothly segues into Mory Kanté's 'Yé ké yé ké' - again, incredible - at Number 63. Apparently (well, factually), it's called 'Get A Life' and is by Nick Kamarera and Alinka.
Guess Who? No, really, Guess Who. Oh, that was a funny little wheeze. The rapper Guess Who, of 'Tot Mai Sus' 'fame', has leant his vocals to Grasu XXL's 'Lala Song' which has soared over recent weeks to a current position of 42. Much like out of date sweet and sour chicken, it's a bit funky - the important difference being that 'Lala Song' shouldn't be thrown in the bin, and nor will it give you the runs. It's good, basically.
All of which means... Well, not much. But in unrelated news DJ Antoine's genuinely abhorrent 'Welcome To St. Tropez' has earnt itself a second week at Number One. Following on from last week, here's some more of the lyrical pearls on offer in the most popular song in the whole of Romania right now.
"Imported linen, Egyptian cotton; the party just started, the party ain't stoppin'; keep shit poppin', poppin' these bottles; haters keep hatin', fuckin' these models; so much money like we own the lotto; pull up to a club in a white Murcielago"
In further unrelated news, the Euro is on the brink of collapse. Here is this week's Top 10:
10 (5) Andra - 'Telephone' FANDRASTIC (FANTASTIC)
9 (10) Liviu Hodor - 'Sweet Love' feat Mona TUNE
8 (14) Mishelle - 'Only You' feat Randi REALLY QUITE PLEASANT
7 (9) Dan Balan - 'Freedom' WOULD WIN EUROVISION
6 (7) Lucky Man Project - 'Pumpin'' LUMPEN
5 (8) Alexinno - 'Senorita' feat Starchild WHY?
4 (4) Guess Who - 'Tot Mai Sus' feat Marius Moga CLASSY
3 (3) Pitbull - 'Rain Over Me' feat Marc Anthony PITBULL'S FINEST HOUR
1 (1) DJ Antoine - 'Welcome To St. Tropez' feat Kalenna BLOODY HELL
And that's all you're getting. Except...
- Mishelle and Randi have a message for you.
- Nick Kamarera's sister has married one of the richest men in Romania. It really is amazing what you can find out just by putting someone's name into Google News. 'Congratulations' to 'all concerned' and so on and so on.
- And if you were thinking of making a trip to Duncan's shop, then you might have to wait until next week at the very least.