Wednesday, 2 November 2011


Yes, that title was just a lazy way of glossing over the lack of an idea for a pun on 'Romania' this week, but ooh 'meta'.

First off, there's good news for Britney Spears after her recent poor gig reviews. Yes, while she may be as culturally relevant in Britain right now as Lonnie Donegan, the 'Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know' hitmaker is still enjoying success in Romania, having not one, but two entries on this week's chart in 'Criminal' and 'I Wanna Go', albeit at only 88 and 78 respectively. Suppose she'll have to take what she can get by this point.

At Number 84 there's a song that sounds like Jamie Woon. Jamie Woon? In Romania? Well, no. It's not Jamie Woon. The Internet doesn't really seem to know what it is either. Bit of a shambles really. And before you start saying "cool story bro", like The Kids apparently do on The Internet these days, a recommendation: the Hudson Mohawke mix of 'Lady Luck' is very good indeed. Perhaps not good enough to make this paragraph worthwhile, but good nonetheless.

In 'bizarre appropriation of a foreign language song' news, Emil Lassaria and F.Charm have conspired to make a Pitbullised version of 'Guantanamera'. They've called it 'Guantanamera' and it charts this week at Number 86. Seriously though what a racket.

Talking of Pitbull, he and Enrique Iglesias have risen 19 places to 48 this week with 'I Like How It Feels'. What it feels like, in actual fact, is a slightly ropey Official FIFA World Cup Song, replete as it is with whistling, crowds chanting "Oh-ay, oh-oh" and two vocalists with crossover international appeal. In other words it's amazing.

Actually, talking of Pitbull, guess who's Number One? Yes, Marc Anthony! And Pitbull. Since 'Pit' first came to widespread public attention in 2009 he's often been something of a blight on pop music; a pernicious influence that has aided the proliferation of Guetta House and Club nonsense in the mainstream. At the same time, however, he's also been responsible (at least in part, through Skyped-in guest appearances) for some absolute, undeniable tunes. It's only now, two years after 'I Know You Want Me' became a hit, that he has unveiled his coup de grâce: chucking 'DJ Antoine' off the top spot with the eleven out of ten-rating 'Rain Over Me'. Congratulations to all involved.

Here is the rest of the Top Ten, this week bolstered by the addition of The Mighty Raluka:

10 (15) The Mighty Raluka - 'Out Of Your BusinessFUTURE CLASSIC
9 (14) Sean Da Paul - 'Got 2 Luv U' feat Alexis Jordan DECENT-ISH
8 (9) Liviu Hodor - 'Sweet Love' feat Mona SWEET (IE GOOD)
7 (6) Lucky Man Project - 'Pumpin'' BORING
6 (7) Dan Balan - 'FreedomEXCITING
5 (8) Mishelle - 'Only You' feat Randi NOT YAZOO; STILL GREAT
4 (4) Guess Who - 'Tot Mai Sus' feat Marius Moga TOP NOTCH
3 (1) 'DJ Antoine' - 'Welcome To St. Tropez' feat Kalenna AN ATROCITY
2 (2) 'Smiley' - 'Dream Girl'
1 (3) Pitbull - 'Rain Over Me' feat Marc Anthony WHAT A TUNE

And that's pretty much all there is to say :(. Except...

  • 'Troubled Actress' 'Lindsay Lohan' is still a bit bitter about Pitbull using her name in one of his rubbish songs.
  • She might not be able to "deal your love no more", but it's The Mighty Raluka’s 22nd birthday a week on Monday, so buy her something nice, yeah?
  • And a sobering thought regarding Britney Spears. A child born when '...Baby One More Time' was first released in the UK would now be approaching their 13th birthday. Even more depressingly, it's completely probable that they wouldn't even really know who she is. 'Makes you think'.

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